Vows to Myself and to Writing

Hello again, beautiful readers. It’s been a while since I’ve published anything on here, and it’s also been a weird gap in my life of not writing at all. I’ve been using my creative outlet as this thing that can only be used when I’m feeling my best in life, and let’s face it, I don’t think I have been completely winning at life, if you know what I mean. The thing is though, is that I’ve been looking at it all wrong. I’ve been so discombobulated with new things happening in my life: the end of an old job, the beginning of a new one, lupus flare ups, the ending and beginning of different relationships, the list can go on and on. Instead of writing through it, I decided to ignore the very creative outlet that makes me feel better, no matter how I’m feeling in that particular moment. How could I have ever forgotten why I write in the first place? Well, the answer is simple…I have been guilty of only trying to show my best self to the world. That’s not fair, and it’s not interesting. If I’m going to continue writing on this platform, then I need to share the best, good, the bleak, and the ugly. Instead of convincing myself of believing that I can only write when I have fully gone through a particular situation enough to be able to write about it, I have decided to enjoy and fully commit to the journey itself. My journey and our journey, together. Some of the writing will be good, some will be terrible, and maybe just one day there will be a gem that’ll show that it’s good enough to be known. And that’s okay, and beautiful in different ways. It definitely doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time, but I know I’m happiest when I have my very own time to write. That in itself is a blessing that I’ve thoroughly taken for granted.

 

So, since the New Year, so many people have asked what my New Year’s resolutions are. I used to hastily say that it’s just a new year, and that nothing just changes just because of that fact. Again, my perception has shifted to the realization that a new year is a perfect time for reflection and evaluation of the previous year, and we all have to go through that whether we like it or not. I think that people who make resolutions are the ones who have accepted that fact, not necessarily that they are delusional or oblivious that things won’t just magically change because it’s a new year. People have often pointed out that I can be naturally negative, and it’s something I need to change about myself. After all, perception is everything, and I don’t want to continue to live life immediately thinking negatively about anything.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I want this year to be different. Truly. I want to start off by writing and publishing articles in a timely and consistent manner. My intention is to publish something on this platform at least every week. I will start to treat writing like my mysterious lover, constantly trying to find time in my busy schedule to spend more time with it. I will no longer fear what people think, because to be frank, others’ opinions are none of my business. Nothing and no one can take away from the fact that I’m in love with it. This is my vow, the one I can actually keep to myself, for myself. I will keep writing. And I will keep writing for the joy of it. For the pain of it. In good times and bad, sickness and in health. Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but hey, it’s meant to be. My main goals: be a better writer, and to make someone feel the way that books have made me feel… free.

 

A wonderful book, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, inspires this post. If you are ever looking to tap into your creative side again, I would urge you to read this book, because it has opened my eyes. Thank you for reading, and I hope that you continue on this journey with me.

 

 

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